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Fictional response

Herald-Times, 09-14-1998

To the editor:

In response to Don Dreis' Sept. 8 letter slandering hunters, I have three more fictional stories.

The first scene is in the Emergency Room. "Daddy, where is Mommy?" "I'm sorry son. She's left for Heaven. The automobile accident did too much damage. She was just hurt too bad and the doctors couldn't save her." The moral of this story is that "Mommy" had hit one of Dreis' precious deer, because the overpopulation caused by a ban on hunting resulted in the deer being pushed out of their habitat. Some of them wandered into the road looking for food, and one of them caused the accident that killed Mommy.

The second story is from "Bambi's" point of view. Bambi: "Mommy, don't leave me. Please don't die!" Mother Deer: "I'm sorry son. I'm too weak. I haven't eaten in a month. I've lost too much weight. I can't go on."

This time, "Mommy Deer" died from starvation thanks to overpopulation of deer that resulted from Dreis and company banning hunting. Unfortunately, the forest has been overgrazed as well, causing environmental destruction.

The third story goes like this: Dreis and company have managed to repeal the Second Amendment. We're again in the emergency room. "Mommy" is sobbing frantically. She has been brutally raped, and her children have been murdered. If only she had access to the now-banned firearms, she could have defended herself from the criminal. Thanks Don, you've done well.

Don Dreis, I could have logically explained why your ideas have no basis in reality, but you obviously get your views from the Cartoon Channel. And no, I don't hunt and I don't own any firearms. I'm just an average citizen that opposes the destructive agenda of Don Dreis and the animal rights movement.

Scott Tibbs.